Good Dom

Good Dom / Bad Dom

One of your primary tasks should be to examine your motives before becoming a Professional Dominatrix.

• I think that a successful Professional Mistress should be a strong, nurturing 'Mother Image'. It is your task to train 'your child' to become what you think he should become when he grows up. If he is misbehaving, you need to punish him. Slaves enjoy the thought that there are specific limits, and that those limits are consistent. You should reward him for being good: they enjoy (even more than you think) that they receive some 'special goodies' from "Their Mistress". Rewards can be as simple as a pat on the head, to a special task like hand washing your underwear.

• If you want to become a Mistress so that you can build a large stable of slaves to buy you more fetish clothes, you are going to have problems. First, you need to realize that clothes don't make a Mistress. She needs attitude as well as the clothes. You also need to look at the motivation of the slave. What does he get by seeing you in fetish attire? You need to make sure that your "S&M" doesn't mean "Stand & Model"! I remember when Mistress Lana was introduced to a pair of 'Fetishistas' from the Easy Coast. They said, "You can't possibly be a Mistress: you aren't wearing latex OR leather!" She responded, "I don't need the clothes to remind me that I'm a Mistress!"

• Being a Mistress is not about pain. It is about discipline. I remember a lady who offered open ended sessions for several hundred dollars. She would tell you up front that the session would last until you or she uses a safeword. After the customer would remove his clothes, she would tie him across a saw horse and whip him. She would whip him a straightened coat hanger without a warm up. After a very few strokes, he would, surprisingly, ask she that go a little slower. She would the redouble the force, and surprise, he would use his safeword. She would then untie him, and send him on his way, session was over. So, if you are looking forward to becoming a Mistress just so you can 'kick ass' on a little "subbie boy", think again. Although your business will be quite brisk at the beginning, you will eventually run out of customers who are willing to endure your sadism.

• All really successful Professional Mistresses have one thing in common. They listen to their clients. If your client wants to do something that you do not, don't do the session; refer him to someone else. This is an important growth step: you have just moved from Commercial to Professional. (If a Surgeon hears his client asking for information about cancer, he will no doubt refer the patient to an Oncologist before removal a cancerous growth.) Know your limits and know your desires. If the client wants Golden Showers and that is not something you enjoy, refer him to another Professional: this will help you built a network of ProDom's. Even more importantly, do sessions that you enjoy; it will prevent burn-out.

• Develop a rapport with your client: listen to what the client is NOT saying. Learn to read between the lines. If your client spends a lot of time talking about your boots, ask a few more questions to determine if the client is interested in trampling; foot worship; the olfactory smell of leather; or the height of the heel on your boots. Does he wish to kneel at your feet; kiss your feet or simply polish your boots?

• I think another major component to becoming a good Pro Dom is courtesy. Your client, for the most part, are not going to be multi-millionaires. They are going to work for a living. Most of your clients are going to be making twenty to fifty dollars per hour. A little bit of math tells us that he will have to work three to eight pretax hours to be able to pay for one hour of your time. (If you notice, I said, "Pay for" and not "Afford") If your client will give up a day of his pay, you should be able to be on time, dressed and prepared for his session. You should know what he likes; and if you are not willing to provide it, turn him away. Courtesy should not be confused with submissiveness. You're a Mistress, a strong lady: you can afford to show courtesy.

• Mistress Monique wrote a wonderful article titled, "Giving of Oneself". I think it should be required reading for everyone; and committed to memory for anyone wishing to go Professional.

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