Submissive
- This article is part of the SM-201 Macropedia
Main article: [[Roles and functions]]
In the BDSM community, a submissive is the person who follows the orders of the Master, Dom or Mistress Domme.
Dictionary definitions:
Main Entry: sub·mis·sive Pronunciation: sub-'mis-iv Function: adjective
adj 1: inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination; "submissive servants"; "a submissive reply"; "replacing troublemakers with more submissive people" [ant: domineering]
adj 2: willing to submit without resistance to authority; deferent
adj 3: abjectly submissive; characteristic of a slave or servant; "slavish devotion to her job ruled her life"; "a slavish yes-man to the party bosses"- S.H.Adams; "she has become submissive and subservient" [syn: slavish, subservient]
Main Entry: sub·mis·sion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (sb-mshn) n.
The act of submitting to the power of another: “Oppression that cannot be overcome does not give rise to revolt but to submission” (Simone Weil).
The state of having submitted. See Synonyms at surrender.
The state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.
https://metro.co.uk/ website Updated: 2001 |
Until a few years ago, unless you were part of the BDSM community, submissive was just a word. You’d probably have thought that submissive meant meek, respectful, compliant and passive. And then "50 Shades of Grey" arrived and the word took on a whole new meaning. These days, the sexual side of the word ‘submissive’ means something else. It’s a descriptive word for a role that some people like to take during sex, role play or within their kinky relationship. The submissive partner can be either the male or the female. It’s also possible for people to take it in turns to be the submissive one, which is known as ‘switching’.
Being submissive can be limited to during sex, when the submissive partner might be on the receiving end of masochism, bondage or other forms of domination. However, some submissives don’t limit their submission to within the bedroom, and will be a ‘lifestyle’ submissive. Lifestyle submissive have sets of rules between themselves and their partners which govern their relationship. It might be small things such as calling your partner a term like 'Sir' or 'Master', it could be doing domestic labor, or it could involve spending large amounts of time naked in a cage. Every submissive and dominant relationship is different and has different levels of intensity and different rules. It is more common to keep the dominant and submissive roles to the bedroom (or to specific periods of time) rather than living the lifestyle 24/7, as it can be difficult to sustain a relationship with an inherent imbalance, especially if you have a family. It can be hard to understand why another person wants to be submissive if that’s not something you’re personally interested in. It’s important to try to understand and not to judge. As we have written before, there is a real difference between kinky and abusive. That difference is active consent. Submissive relationships only work when they are based around consent.
If you’re worried that a relationship has become toxic or dangerous, you should contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233).
There probably as many definitions of submissive and slave as there are people who populate those definitions.
I have tried to break this broad topic into several categories:
- Service Subs - best described as people who serve in a non-sexual manner.
- Sex slaves - those who serve in a primarily sexual role.
- Pain slaves - those who are primarily interested in pain, and "how much they can tolerate for the sake of their Master or Mistress".
- Types of Subs - A humorous look at types of submissives
See also Subservience and/or Submissiveness
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