Pretended non-consensuality
Pretended, feigned or enacted non-consensuality is an acting and roleplaying concept that is common in the spanko and BDSM communities. In play, the partners act as if their activity, such as corporal punishment, was non-consensual. However in reality, their play is fully consensual. Mentally entering the scenario and acting from it helps create an illusion of non-consensuality and, ideally, also some of the emotions that come with it.
Why?
In real life, any punishment is usually non-consensual, otherwise it would not be punishing. Fictional punishment scenarios as found, for example, in spanking fiction such as spanking comics or spanking stories, typically reflect this.[1]
When play partners such as spankos[2] consensually enact punishment scenarios, they often like to hide the consensuality in the play because that makes it feel more like the real thing. The spankee pretends to fear and try to avoid the punishment, and the spanker pretends to have to overcome this with authority, verbal strictness and/or physical force to carry out the punishment. This is often not a conscious choice, but something that happens naturally when the players get into the head space of their roles.
For spankos,[2] non-consensuality can also make a scene more erotic.[3] For some, getting into a non-consensual state of mind can also be a cathartic experience they seek.
Enacted non-consensuality is also a standard in online spanking roleplaying.
Actors and actresses in spanking videos also often act in non-consensual scenarios, and good acting skills show in believable illusions of non-consensuality.
Techniques
It is not always easy to tell whether something is consensual or not, so if you, as a spankee, want to create a good illusion of non-consensuality, remaining quiet and passive is not enough. Words and actions are needed.[4]
One of the clearest outward signs of non-consensuality is resistance and anything that shows the character does not want it to happen. It can be expressed in words (e.g. "No! Please don't spank me!), tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures, and actions (such as struggling or trying to get away). Fear can be expressed in a variety of ways, from stuttering to body language. See also Resistance in consensual spanking.
In play sessions, agreeing on a safeword beforehand can be useful, as it allows the person being punished to beg the punisher to stop, when in fact they want to continue. The words "No!" and "Stop!" can then be used freely, knowing that they will have no effect. In BDSM play, things like bondage can also help the players get into the head space of non-consensuality. Being tied in restraints can help a woman, for example, to feel and act in the role of a damsel in distress.
For a few more techniques specific to spanking, see Roleplaying non-consensuality in consensual spanking.
Pros and cons
Some people love acting/role-playing and find pretended non-consensuality adds a lot to the realism and quality of the play, as opposed to a spankee joyfully yelling "Yes! Spank me harder!" completely out of character.
Others dislike acting/role-playing, or the illusion of non-consensuality. The complete absence of pretended non-consensuality makes them more comfortable. Perhaps non-consensuality tends to trigger an old trauma in them, or it just feels ugly. Some spankos avoid consuming spanking fiction labeled "NC" (for non-consensual) for similar reasons.
A large group of people prefers a sort of middle ground. In their play, the spankee is generally compliant and submissive. They are trained or wise enough to not openly resist their disciplinarian, but will show no open pleasure while being punished either. In other words, the spankee will be mostly meek, quiet and act neither too consensually nor too non-consensually. Pleasure, satisfaction and affection may be displayed after the play, but not during.
See also
Footnotes
- ↑ Since Greek Antiquity, drama requires characters to suffer so that the audience will be moved. Their suffering also tends to make the audience sympathize with the character. Comedy is different in this respect.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 (or BDSM enthusiasts in BDSM play other than spanking)
- ↑ Especially when it is just enacted, fictional or otherwise does not involve real suffering.
- ↑ In spanking fiction, narration and written thoughts can also help to convey it.
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