Rape fantasy
A rape fantasy is a sexual fantasy about participating in a rape, a fictional story about a rape, or an acted-out scene of pretend rape between consenting adults.
Fantasy
Rape fantasies occur in both the male and female sexual fantasy realms, are relatively common across populations, and their contents range from unwilling seduction to violent, forceful sex. One can imagine one is the rapist, or that one is being raped. It is estimated that 24% of men and 36% of women have had a rape fantasy, and 10% of women report this is their favorite type of fantasy
The most commonly held theory about this phenomenon is that many individuals turn to fantasies about being raped as a means of reconciling naturally-occurring sexual desires with the intense negative stigma their culture and/or creed affix to sexual activity. The fantasy serves as a psychological device through which the fantasizer can safely indulge in intense sexual experiences without guilt, by absolving themselves of responsibility for participating in the act. Many socially acceptable examples can be found in "bodice ripper" fiction.
Rape fantasies can also represent an outlet for sexually submissive and/or dominant individuals. In such fantasies they can imagine themselves as having or lacking sexual control or power without actually participating in an illegal or immoral act.
Another relatively common theory is that the attraction men feel toward raping is an evolutionary relic of prehistoric man. Thousands of years ago, those willing to rape were more likely to have their genes passed on. According to these sociobiological theories of rape, rape fantasy substitutes for a hereditary impulse that in civilized society has become socially intolerable.
It has been proposed that for some who have actually been sexually abused, rape fantasy may be a way to heal past wounds by exploring in a safe environment with a sense of control. Dr. Michael J. Bader, author of Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies, writes: "It is quite common that children who were abused grow up and develop sexual fantasies loosely based on their abuse. ... The adult indulging in a fantasy of sexual surrender or abasement is actually saying to her or himself: 'I'm recreating a terrifying or traumatic scene, but this time I'm in control because I'm scripting the scene ...'"
Regardless, the presence of rape fantasies in a community or individual cannot be taken to imply that the fantasizers in reality condone rape, desire to rape others, or wish to be raped themselves. While actual rape is an act of control with sex being the chosen medium of that control, and by its nature exclusively an act of the rapist, rape fantasy is essentially sexual and indulged in from both the point of view of the rapist and, even more frequently, the victim.
Role play
One form of sexual role playing is the rape fantasy, also called "ravishment". Ravishment has become the more popular term in BDSM circles, as it makes a distinction between consensual roleplay and nonconsensual assault.
Since the illusion of non-consensuality is important to the fantasy, one or more safewords are typically employed. This way, a participant can protest without stopping the scene, unless the safeword is used. Often a variation on the "stop-light" system is used, with different colors designating different messages: "red" to stop everything, "yellow" to slow down or take it easy, and so forth. For scenes where there is an element of surprise, the top or "ravisher" may use a "startword" or other identifying signal.
In healthy ravishment scenes, all participants carefully negotiate what will transpire beforehand. Limits are respected and made very clear, to maintain safety and consensuality. Such negotiation would also include discussion of emotional issues for both partners, especially if there has been a prior history of actual sexual abuse or assault.
See also Bodice ripper
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