Meeting a new Dominant

I would like to add a short discussion on meeting a new Dominant and how to be safe going about that.

Submissives are such lovely, trusting, eager to please people and that is just why us Dom's love them so much. But sometimes it is this impatience and eagerness that can put you in situations that might not be safe.

Particularly with online connections, you need to be safe with your first couple of meetings with this person. It is difficult to verify any information with someone you have not actually met. There aren't many places to check references.

Red Flags

There are several "Red Flags" that should be raised when you see certain behaviors

1. They will enter a chat room and immediately orders you to start calling him Master.
2. They want a lot of personal information before you meet.
3. They don't like public play.
4. They want you to come to his home, dressed provocatively, and, oh by the way, place handcuffs on your wrists (behind your back, of course) as soon as you ring the doorbell.

Any and/or all of the above actions MIGHT indicate a potential problem.

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Do yourself a favor and meet each other in a very public place, and either has a safe call set up or take a friend with you to that first meeting. The first couple of times that you meet this man, you should have a safe call set up. In case you are not familiar with a safe call:

You arrange with a friend to watch your back. You tell them the man's name, where you are meeting, what time you are meeting and you will call your friend when you get to the destination. You will then check in with your friend 1/2 way through your meeting and have a code word that indicates you are safe.......an unusual word. Then you will call your friend again when you get to your car or home.

DO NOT go anywhere with this man OR submit to him until you get to know him. Or, arrange to meet at a munch or have a "Scene" with him in a public place, like a club.

It is unfortunate, but there are abusers out there posing as Dominants and it is better to be patient and safe.

Believe Me, if he is a true Dominant, he will appreciate your self-care in this situation and he will be very familiar with this protocol.

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